Fighting with your partner? You may just need a sandwich

As much as I adore my wife, I’ve had some knock-down drag-outs with her. Who among us can say they never fight with their partner?

Well, I just read a fascinating study from Ohio State University revealing a surprising reason for our arguments …

We’re hungry!

This finding comes from such an interesting (and fun) experiment, I must share the details.

Study #1

Researchers looked at 107 married couples. For 21 days, participants were given voodoo dolls they were told represented their spouses. They also were given permission to stick as many as 51 pins daily into the dolls, depending on how peeved they were with their partner.1

The hungrier you are the more pins the doll gets.

During the same time, couples tested their blood-sugar levels before breakfast in the morning and before bed in the evening.

So what factor determined how many pins the poor dolls had to endure?

Blood glucose levels. The lower the participants’ evening blood-glucose levels, the more pins they stuck in the dolls.

What’s more, this held true even after the researchers took into account the couples’ relationship satisfaction.

In other words, even participants who said they were very happy with their spouses took their anger out on the dolls if they were hungry.

Study #2

The dolls weren’t the only ones to suffer. After the first study was over, researchers brought the couples into the lab for another experiment.

Hunger could make you want to shout at a person even if it is your loved one.

This time they were told they would compete with their spouse to see who could press a button the fastest. The winners could blast their spouse with loud noise through headphones.

As it happened, they weren’t actually playing against their spouses. Instead, they were playing against a computer that let them win about half the time.

Each time they “won,” the participants decided how loud of a noise they would deliver to their spouse and how long it would last.

Their spouses were in separate rooms during the experiment, so participants didn’t know they weren’t really delivering the blast.

Results resembled those in the voodoo doll study. Participants with lower average levels of evening glucose sent louder and longer blasts to their spouses. This was true even of those who expressed high levels of relationship satisfaction.

Why these results?

To control aggressive impulses, your brain requires energy. The primary source of that energy is glucose, which we get from food. So the less glucose we have, the less we’re able to control aggression.

So, what do we learn from this study?

First, when your spouse is hungry, never give him or her access to sharp objects.

Or bullhorns.

But seriously, if you’ve forgotten to pick up your husband’s dry cleaning, accidentally backed into a pole while driving your wife’s car, or accepted a dinner invitation to your annoying neighbor’s cocktail party, wait until after dinner to bring it up.

And if you need to have a serious discussion with your spouse, NEVER do it before breakfast.

Do you find that you fight more with your partner when you’re hungry? I, for one, am going to have to pay more attention to the timing of arguments with my wife.

It’s just possible that I’m a perfect husband and my wife simply needs to eat a little more.

Steve Sisskind, M.D.

Hi, I'm Dr. Steve Sisskind, Chief Medical Officer & Founder at RealDose Nutrition.

As a young physician, I struggled because my patients came to me with serious health issues, but I didn't have the right tools to help them. Medical school taught me how to put "band aids" on their symptoms with drugs and surgery, but not how to address the root causes of their problems.

Years later I discovered a better approach... based on the fundamental idea that the power of nutrition can transform your health and vitality. But there's a lot of confusion... What foods should I eat? Which supplements should I take? What does the science say?

I have dedicated my life to answering these questions... And I share this knowledge with you every day here at RealDose Nutrition.

I invite you to connect with me by joining my free private community. I've helped thousands of people and I know I can help you too!

Join the Whole Body Club

Dr. Steve Sisskind is on a mission to help you achieve amazing health and vitality through the power of nutrition. Sign up to get access to his valuable health tips, recipes, videos, and discounts for FREE!

1. Bushman BJ, Dewall CN, Pond RS Jr, Hanus MD. Low glucose relates to greater aggression in married couples. Proc Natl Acad Sci. 2014;111(17):6254-6257. PMID: 24733932.

6 comments

  1. Hi, My husband can’t stay away from all the deli foods. He also loves cheesecake. He knows it’s bad for him. But, he insists on eating theses things. He thinks by taking probiotics, stool softener, Menamusal, these can compensate for his actions. He eats very little. Only two meals a day, a lot of sugar and two cups of coffee. What is a wife suppose to do? Help. Thanks for being there for us. Esther

    • Dr. Steve Sisskind

      Hi Esther,

      Thank you for writing in and for sharing your thoughts with us! Deli meats can incite inflammation in our body due to preservatives and other additives. That said, I suggest that you use gentle persuasion to help your husband eat more and pick healthier food. I suggest having a snack or sandwich ready for him. And, a small glass of his favorites fruits blended into a smoothie for him to drink throughout the day. Hope this helps! Have a healthy day!

  2. Great humor and great information…now the solution for 8-9 pm “lows”?

    • Dr. Steve Sisskind

      Hi Nancy,

      Thank you for writing in and for sharing your thoughts with us! An early evening dinner with a good amount of protein and plateful of vegetables will help you stay full for longer. If you cannot avoid grabbing a snack soon after dinner, I suggest you have either a handful of nuts or cut up vegetables. Hope this helps! Have a healthy day!

  3. I’ve always found your articles helpful, but this is the one exception.
    For solving marital arguments or any other problems I have to tell you that Christ does it all! Because of Him over the years all argument with my husband (who does not yet believe) has stopped (replaced with deep peace and love, not with unspoken tension or stuffed feelings). Jesus is the answer to all things! I cannot recommend Him highly enough.
    I will never push Him on someone who doesn’t want Him for some reason (perhaps not understanding His realness or His perfect love and wisdom). But if you have even a little interest or curiosity – just ask Him to show you His love! – it’s zero risk and you stand to gain so much! (Jesus didn’t just make my marriage great, He has made my life and my other relationships great. It did not happen instantly, but things have gotten better during every year of my life since meeting Him.) Even if you don’t believe, ask Him to show you if He exists, by His love.

    Thank you, Steven, for all you do for us!!! What a giving person you are!

    • Dr. Steve Sisskind

      Hi Anne,

      Thank you for writing in and for sharing your thoughts with us! I completely agree with you there. Every day I wake up and thank the one above for my beautiful family. They are my strength and my joy. Have a healthy day!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *